Homework
The Gift of Presence
Nayada Cowherd, contributing editor
Now take a parent pause. And listen for the things they yearn for but have never asked you to give them. Consider a gift that doesn’t cost a thing yet has a great return on your investment.
Be present! Instead of giving presents, give presence.
The words are so similar but the representation couldn’t be further apart. You are what your child really wants. Your presence can never be replaced by an item. You can break the bank trying to give material things. And end up with a broken heart because you didn’t give of yourself. Letting your child know you are there for them is a life-long gift your child can use for themselves, share with others and give back to you. Years from now your child just may remember the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots but you can bet a dime to a dollar they will remember that sock pillow fight you guys had around the tree on Christmas morning.
Studies show that children whose parents make themselves available to them are less stressed and more responsive. Now isn’t that a gift the whole world can enjoy?
Here are some ideas on how to be present.
If you are so inclined to wrap it up and put it under the tree you can make some homemade certificates with the details and put them in gift boxes. Encourage your child to do the same for you and/or their siblings.
Look into your goodie-bag of tricks. Take a gander at your skills and find one that you want to impart upon your child.- For instance, you may cook. Teach your child how to make breakfast. They may just surprise you with breakfast in bed by New Years’.
- Do you sew? Take some time to teach your little one how to make a hat out of fleece. They will be so proud that it’ll end all arguments about wearing a hat in the bitter cold.
- Perhaps you have a love for language. Commit to learning a new word everyday with your child and have a spelling/definition bee at the end of the week.
- Or, you might have a special eye for photography. Take a day a week or month and go shooting. Make it thematic or go on a photo scavenger hunt. Make a scrap book with the photographs.
Start a family book club. Read a book together. We all want our children to enhance their reading skills no matter how advanced they may be. Going on the “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” together can be as good as taking a trip to an island. I said almost.
Find your center and inner peace. Do yoga together. Or meditate daily. Teaching your child to sit and contemplate is a skill most of us lack in our “I want it now” rat-race of a world.
Be an active listener. We are so used to barking out instructions and telling our children what to do. Make yourself available to listen, even if that means arranging a weekly “appointment” with your child. Hold the “appointment” in a special location. A picnic in the park. At a local coffee shop. Over chocolate chip pancakes. Put it on their (and your) calendar and stick to it. Listen to your child and don’t try to solve their problems. Although you can ask probing questions to help them solve their problems themselves. Too many times we want to fix things and all the child wants is to be heard.
To quote a friend and motivational speaker, Aldean Pearson, “Your active presence should take precedence over your material presents!”
Contact Nayada: TheParentStop@gmail.com
FaceBook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Washington-DC/Peaceful-Parenting
