BEING YOUR OWN BEST ADVOCATE
Robert M. Brown III, Ph.D., contributing editor

The gift giving season is upon us. Temperatures and snow are falling. More people are making their lists and checking them twice. Children are being asked if they have been naughty or nice. No matter what your religious affiliation may be, this time of year brings nostalgia, reflection of the deeper meanings of the season, happiness, reminders about why family is so important and feasting. There is also the hustle and bustle of shoppers fulfilling their gift lists. Many will find this to be one of the great joys of the entire year because money and time are abundant. For so many others, though, the year’s end can signal a self-imposed requisite to deplete very finite cash resources, even though a promise was made the year before “not to spend until broke” again.

In a couple of weeks, there will be a collective declaration of New Year’s resolutions. People everywhere will think about and say them with conviction and sincerity...just like last year. For 2011, I submit a challenge that instead of waiting for the crack of midnight on January 1st, start a resolution right now. Repeat the following sentence for each year that you have been alive:

I CHOOSE TO BE MY OWN BEST ADVOCATE AT ALL TIMES.

This statement is directly related to how you feel about yourself and how you treat yourself. It is a verbal affirmation that you choose, as a part of your daily routine, to treat yourself with love, respect, decency and understanding. It implies that while no one is perfect, each day presents an opportunity to get better. This happens by resisting the temptation to be complacent and seeking a path that requires growth. Keep in mind the following:

One of the best ways to begin to be your own best advocate is to say positive affirmations. Look in the mirror and say:

These affirmations are greatly facilitated by appreciating who you are. In the words of Jerry Lewis in the original Nutty Professor (1963):

You might as well like yourself. Just think about all the time you’re going to have to spend with you.

During this season, especially, so many people are consumed with buying gifts, no matter what. Remember that for millions of people around the country, despite what the 24-hour news reports, a Great Depression has happened and is happening in homes everywhere. We are still gripped by an economic meltdown that is unprecedented. But, many insist on buying gifts they can’t afford with money that should be used to pay for things such as rent or the mortgage, food and utilities. For those who still have access to credit cards, with balances, these are often maxed out with the rationalization that it will be dealt with in January. The problem for more than may admit it is that the “Januarys” from past holiday seasons have now run together. Being your own best advocate means that if you can’t afford that “perfect gift,” don’t buy it. Choose to buy one that is less expensive and give yourself permission to feel good that you can make that purchase. Don’t allow yourself to become stressed over gift giving. This defeats the purpose. When you purchase and give gifs, you should feel happiness and joy, not anxiety about how you are going to pay the bill. Choose to be your own best advocate by trying this approach:

So, from this point forward, when gift giving seasons come, choose to be financially realistic and responsible. And, as you wrap those packages, remember that for those that love you and care for you the most, you are the best gift of all.