Good Books
Karen Schacter, contributing editor (www.dishingwithyourdaughters.com
Book Review: Things I Want My Daughter to Know: A Small Book About the Big Issues in Life
Book by Alexandra Stoddard
Illustrated by Melanie Siegel
Alexandra Stoddard is my new favorite author (and I can’t wait to read all 25 of her books). As a self-defined “philosopher of contemporary living” and an expert on the art of happiness and the art of living beautifully, Ms. Stoddard knows how to clearly discuss meaningful — and often challenging — topics about life and living in easy-to-understand and inspiring ways.
While browsing in a bookstore during a weekend away this Fall, I initially was drawn to her book, Things I want My Daughters To Know: A Small Book About Big Issues in Life, because of its title. As a mom, I am continually seeking knowledge about how to support my children in developing a happy life. (The more support and insight from other smart people I get, the better!). And as a therapist and certified health counselor, much of my work is about helping moms support their daughters in their relationship to eating and their bodies. So the title of this book caught my eye immediately.
Upon reading through the table of contents, however, I quickly realized that this was a book for ME. Moments later, entranced by the words I read when I randomly flipped open to the middle of the book, I knew I was not leaving this store without this little gem of a book in hand! And I couldn’t wait to devour its contents.
And devour I did. Reading Alexandra Stoddard’s writing is like sitting down with a warm cup of tea, in a light and flower-filled room, on a cozy couch, with a warm and trusted mentor. Through 55 thoughtful, wise, and at times funny essays about living a full and meaningful life, Ms. Stoddard gently, yet directly, hits the nail on the head in her discussions ranging from work to relationships to parenting to financial security to self-esteem and beyond. Although written for her own two adult daughters, her essays offer “truths” and insights that are relevant and helpful to anyone seeking to live a life of authenticity, meaning and passion.
Alexandra begins with a quote from Aristotle (I have since learned how much she admires him and his work), which says, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
Her book goes on from there to offer advice and encouragement, at times with seemingly obvious, yet powerful reminders (“Humor is the key to keeping the family energy positive, especially with teenagers...No one remembers the mediocre, the ho-hum, the bland or ordinary.”)
In her essay, “Give Anonymously,” her advice is less obvious, but such a delight to be reminded of. She says, “It is amazing how much can be accomplished when we don’t insist on taking credit...the more you give anonymously, the greater your sense of joy...” She beautifully and simply states “you don’t give what you have, you give who you are. Be an angel. The more you give from a full heart, the less you need to be thanked.&lrdquo; Wow. That’s the kind of person I want to be &mdashl and sometimes, under the pile of bills and to-do lists, it really helps to be reminded.
And in perhaps a more controversial essay entitled, “Think of Yourself: By Being Self-Centered, You May Be Benefiting The World,” Alexandra simply states: “...the most important person in your life is you. You are meant to be “full of yourself.” Although this may take many women aback initially, she makes a strong case for self-centeredness, reminding us, “Whenever you rely on your highest consciousness, you will be serving the world well.”
If you are a seeker of joy a pursuer of meaning, a lover of learning, and a student of nourishing your soul, then this book is a must-read. Grab a cup of tea, curl up on the couch, enjoy this deliciousness...and be sure to pass it on.
