MindWorks
An Attitude of Gratitude
Renita C. Gabriel, Psy.D, contributing editor
Have you ever had one of those days when you thought to yourself, “If I have to sit in this traffic another minute...?” Are there mornings when you dread going into the office? Do you ever feel annoyed by a loved one’s “ways?” We’ve all been there and I’m sure we’ve all found that if we stay there we become increasingly more discontent, disgruntled, despairing and the list of negative emotion could continue seemingly without end. Now, I am not suggesting that there is anything dysfunctional about having a reaction to common stressors or frustrations. I would like to encourage you however, to consider another perspective in those difficult moments to help you get through them. Let me explain what I mean.
Imagine that you are the person sitting in traffic for 2 hours each way for a drive that would take little over 20 minutes during non-peak hours. Instead of becoming increasingly frustrated as you dwell on the fact that you are in a substantial amount of traffic and the inconvenience you face, you can choose to reflect on the years you went without reliable transportation until you were able to purchase your current vehicle. Perhaps you are the individual who has been with a company for several years and the monotony of the work you do along with the personalities of the people with whom you work causes you to become weary. Rather than ruminating on how fed up you feel with your job, you can let out a sigh of relief over the fact that you are not among those you know who were either laid off from their jobs or no longer able to work. Maybe you are the person whose husband or wife is constantly reminding him or her of the things that need to be done around the house. You could certainly brood over how much your spouse’s ways get under your skin, or you could remind yourself of the people you know who are in abusive relationships and whose marriages are on the brink of divorce. It is not my intent to trivialize the aforementioned scenarios as there may very well need to be external adjustments made to each situation to improve the quality of life of the individuals affected. Nevertheless, I believe that while awaiting situation- changing solutions, an individual can mitigate their response to the stressful circumstance by changing the way they think about it. In other words, by adopting an “attitude of gratitude” you can begin to improve your perception of (and eventually you response to) seemingly negative situations. That a grateful attitude can have a positive impact on our perspective on life circumstances is not a novel idea, but rather one that we often forget and discount.
Gratitude is defined as the “state of being grateful” or “thankfulness” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gratitude). Research suggests that there are numerous psychological, social and physical benefits associated with adopting an attitude of gratitude (Alspach, 2009; Emmons & McCullough, 2004).
The psychological impact includes improving a person’s sense of well-being and happiness, increasing optimism, contributing to greater progress in achieving important life goals, as well as higher frequency of feeling loved, and lower incidence of stress and depression than those who reflect on more neutral or negative aspects of their lives. Interpersonally, gratitude can build and strengthen social bonds, friendships and social supports. For example, when people demonstrate their appreciation to others in their lives through kind acts, it can result in reciprocity of that kindness. Physically, people who are grateful appear to take better care of themselves which includes exercising regularly and adopting a healthy diet (Alspach, 2009).
In light of the benefits of adopting an attitude of gratitude, I would encourage you to consider its application in your own life. Below in the “TIP” for the month are some practical ways you can exercise gratitude:
- Take time to reflect on positive aspects of your life — whether you do this once a week or once a day carve out some time to routinely acknowledge and reflect on the things/people for which you are grateful
- Identify ways to express your gratitude — Think of ways you can show your appreciation to those to whom you are grateful. Spiritually, this may involve spending time in worship. Interpersonally, it may involve communicating your appreciation through gestures such as writing a thank you note or hosting a dinner in honor of the individual(s).
- Put it into practice — Once you have identified what you are grateful for, to whom you are grateful and how to demonstrate this gratitude, put it into practice.
Remember, be grateful for gratitude may improve your health!
References
Alspach, G.(2009). Extending the tradition of giving thanks: recognizing the health benefits of gratitude. Critical Care Nurse, 29 (6), 12-18.
Emmons, R.A. & McCullough, M.E (2004). The psychology of gratitude. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
