Cassie’s Story
Andrea Rock, contributing editor
Cassie and Matt Johnson have experienced more of life than many of us ever will. And as far as they are concerned, there are two things we can count on to get through the tough times — family and family. Oh yeah, and a good counselor, too!
Before she turned thirty, Cassie had lost five female relatives, all on her father’s side of the family, to breast cancer. When her older sister, aged 32, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of the disease, Cassie took the radical step of having a double mastectomy, as prophylaxis, given the high degree of probability that she, too, would incur the disease. Her courage paid off, as she is one of the lucky ones. Thanks to her bold step, she is thriving and healthy today. Her sister’s diagnosis had been too late for such a decision, and she died within a year. Denise O’Donnell thus left behind a six-year-old son, Chris and a four-year-old daughter, Jess.
Cassie’s widowed brother-in-law, John, did his best to carry on, and the entire family joined hands across the miles to help. Cassie and Matt did what they could from several hundred miles away, and Cassie’s own grieving mother frequently flew in from the East coast, staying weeks or a month at a time. Cassie’s father lived closer to John, and helping both with the kids with home repairs, and her other sister and brother-in-law helped in every way they could. But over the years John slipped into depression, as he was unable to find a new mate and as his growing children seemed to need him less. He supplemented the prescribed medication for depression with alcohol and drugs, and soon showed signs of violent behavior. By the time that Jess was fifteen, the family realized they could no longer trust him with his own children, and concluded that Cassie and Matthew would be the best choice to take the kids into their home. By that time, Cassie had settled into a 13 year career that she loved, as director of Rehab at Glendale Adventist Hospital, but she resigned to care for her family that had just exploded from two to four children, ages two, eleven, fifteen and seventeen.
Tragically, within a year, despite having taken the step to enter re-hab, John took his own life. So now this young family blended family had to cope not only with the adjustment of learning to live together, but also of dealing with the pain of suicide. They naturally questioned whether they could have done something more to help John, and the always-irrational but common reaction guilt tainted their every thought.
In real life, the combining of two families of children does not follow a “Brady-Bunch” storyline. Those of us who have parented daughters feel instant empathy with the singular challenge of trying to convert an introverted, careful eleven-year-old girl and an extroverted, free-spirited fifteen-year-old girl, into sisters and best friends! Eleven-year-old Tara resented the encroachment on her role as the older daughter, and saw her new sister Jess as manipulative; Jess was jealous of Tara for the luxury of having grown up with a mother and dismissed her as a spoiled brat. Two-year old Kylie was too young for these battles, but she was, well, TWO!
Happily, Cassie and Matt had a strong marriage, and both were willing to “go the distance” with a very capable counselor. Their submission to the advice of a professional served as a model their daughters were willing to follow, so Tara and Jess benefited from their own sessions, as well as from the insight their parents thus gained. Today, theirs is a success story that anyone would covet. Their adopted kids Chris and Jess both went to Calvin State Chico — the alma mater of their grandparents, and a school situated in their aunt and uncle’s hometown. So Cassie managed their finances while her sister and brother-in-law provided meals, laundry, and general loving support. Cassie says they made a great team — they talked to each other every day of the week — and could not have done it without her sister!
Chris married his high school sweetheart, and is currently working on a Ph.D. in engineering; Jess graduated with honors and is working with disabled adults. Tara is a student at Marymount College. Kylie is a 6th grader with plans to be a veterinarian in Borneo!
The importance of family commitments can never be over-stated, as Cassie and Matt’s life attests. Through all of the travails of raising their four children, they remained devoted to each other, and were given great help by their own parents and siblings. All are thriving today, and I hope their story will give hope to anyone who happens to read this.
Until, next time — THRIVE!