Learning
Karen Schachter, contributing editor
www.dishingwithyourdaughter.com
Everyone loves summer! It brings back memories of long days, relaxed nights, fireworks and family time! Summer is the season of vacations, barbeques, picnics and family reunions! However, in addition to ushering in an abundance of FUN, Summer can also bring an abundance of unhealthy food and cravings for specific treats. Ice cream, soda, hot dogs and fried chicken! Aunt Anna’s apple pie, Cousin Bruno’s barbequed ribs, Mom’s famous homemade ice cream! Oh my!
Although there are many reasons for the choices we make about what we eat, most of us don’t realize just how powerful our memories and our associations can be when it comes to reaching for a second helping of pie or the Dairy Queen special. Yet, the truth is, just thinking about your family reunion — or your yearly trip to the beach — may get your taste buds excited and your cravings activated.
In our culture — and in many others as well — food is often associated with love. With connection. With family. And this is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s natural, and even healthy, to express love for family by nurturing them with a special meal or by “breaking bread” together to celebrate a special occasion.
Feeding our families healthy food is a way we show them how much we love them. Even feeding our families unhealthy foods — “treats” — may feel loving, because it brings them joy.
However, things can become complicated and even unhealthy when food gets CONFUSED with love. And, unfortunately, that’s easy to do. From the time we are born, food and love are intimately linked. As babies we feel the warm, cozy sensations of drinking milk and being held, but we can’t necessarily distinguish between the two. We just know if FEELS good. As we get older, food may continue to be associated with love (“oh, honey, don’t cry, here’s a cookie” or “I’m so proud of you — let’s go out for ice cream”).
Or, being with Grandma and eating her sweet cherry pie or perfectly crisp, salty chicken all gets rolled into one “feel good” experience. No wonder we want that “comfort food” when we’re stressed or lonely! And no wonder it’s so hard to say “no thank you” when it’s offered to us...whether we’re hungry or not!
Then, of course, there’s the pressure — whether spoken or not — of what’s expected of us at our family gatherings. “What do you MEAN you and your kids no longer eat fried foods? How could you POSSIBLY say ‘no’ to desert? What — are you saying you’re too good for my ‘home cooking?’”
Or, perhaps, when it comes to your kids, “Do you REALLY think this little popsicle is going to affect his behavior? You are being overly sensitive!” or “You are making too much of her dairy allergy. A little cheese never hurt anyone!”
Whew! No wonder it is so difficult to distinguish between what truly feeds our (and our children’s) hunger and health — what truly nourishes us — from the emotional cravings and familial pressures that may not be quite as good for us! No wonder it can be so confusing to figure out how to stay healthy — and keep our kids healthy — during this season!
Here are a few tips that may help you stay clear this summer, keeping your own and your children’s health on track:
- Remember, summer actually provides an abundance of naturally healthy treats! Treat yourself and your children to sweet, plump strawberries or fresh, ripe blackberries. Dip some juicy mango slices into creamy tart yogurt or even melted dark chocolate and redefine your definition of a “treat.”
- Bring your own delicious — and healthy — dish to the next family gathering and start a new tradition!
- Teach your kids that the nourishment you get from your family gatherings or special occasions is not the stuff that comes on the plate. The REAL nourishment comes from the people you connect with, the joy you share, and the memories you create together.
- Recognize that you can say “no thank you” kindly and non-judgmentally. It is not kind to yourself to eat a second helping of an unhealthy food and it’s especially not kind to your children to encourage them to eat something that doesn’t support their growing bodies, just because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Your health, and your children’s health, must come first.
- It’s okay to indulge occasionally! Don’t beat yourself up if you just must have your mom’s ultimate cheesecake! Take a slice and savor every bite! (Guilt does nothing for our health!)
