Learning
How to Support Your Child's Passions
by Karen Schachter, contributing editor
As a parent, I want my child to grow into an adult who knows himself and pursues his dreams. I want her to know, in the depths of her soul, that her desires matter (and I want her to have the confidence to express those desires).
I don’t want him to feel that he has to work hard simply to please me and the teachers, so he can get good grades, so he can get into the right college, so he can get the good job, so he can make a respectable salary, so he can then raise a child who does the exact same thing.
Don’t get me wrong: There’s nothing terrible about the above scenerio if it’s paved on the path of passion. But too often, it’s not.
In my psychotherapy and coaching practice over the years, I’ve seen hundreds of people who have done the “right thing” to achieve so-called success, and in the process, have lost their passion. As a result, they lost sight of the meaning and purpose in their lives.
Passion is one of the main building blocks for living a life of meaning, purpose and contribution.
I am guessing that you, like me, want this for your children (and yourself!).
Yet in a culture where hard work, good grades, and outward “success” are valued, it can be hard to raise children who are truly passionate about their lives. (Heck, as adults, many of us may feel like we don’t have time to pursue our passions, since we’re so busy doing what we’re “supposed to” be doing).
So what can we, as parents, do to counteract the “shoulds” and instead, help our children live a life of passion, meaning and purpose?
First, stop the madness. Recognize if you—or someone else—is pushing your child to succeed in school or in sports in a way that may be stressing him out. Stress and pressure are counterproductive to passion.
Secondly, don’t give in to popular culture’s tendency to over-book our children. Children (like adults) thrive when they have “down time” to play, dream and explore. These are building blocks to passion.
Third, observe your child. Notice what excites her. Ask her what she loves. Create more opportunities for her to explore and develop the interests that she already has a natural affinity for.
Fourth, don’t compare him to others. There’s nothing like comparison to evoke feelings of inadequacy and take the sizzle out of passion.
And finally, practice pursuing your own passion. Yes, I know you’re busy. It’s hard to find the time. Yet following your passion and living a life built on real-life dreams is a life that’s filled with meaning, purpose and contribution. Imagine a world where ALL people lived in this way?
THIS is the world we all want for our children. Won’t you join me in paving the way?
