Learning
Nurturing a Healthy Body Image in Our Daughters
by Karen Schachter, contributing editor
http://www.dishingwithyourdaughter.com
“Mom, I’m fat.”
Would you know how to react? While we want to reassure our children that they are beautiful, we know that more is going on than meets the eye and how we respond is essential. She is reaching out to you for guidance and real nurturing...more than just reassurance.
As parents, it’s not always easy to have a heart-to-heart conversation without a misunderstanding or meltdown, especially during those tough pre-teen and teen years. The last thing we want to do is to upset our children and when it comes to food and body image, a clear and supportive dialogue is even more vital.
When we see our children begin to make poor eating choices, we so desperately want to hold up a stop sign with a U-turn. Let’s be honest, really honest, we don’t want our daughter to struggle with her weight OR think that she’s fat.
Yet, we hold our tongue, not quite sure what to say or how it would be received. Why? Many times we hear internally what other people said to us when we were younger or think about how we’ve struggled with cravings, crashes or that 5 or 50 pounds we just can’t lose.
But you CAN talk to your daughter about weight, without making her feel insecure. It’s all about how we approach the subject and how we talk to our children. Underneath the nagging mom voice, is a genuine concerned mentor and guide.
Here are some great tips to open a dialogue about body image, food choices and how to nourish the body, while truly nurturing your relationship with your child:
- Family meals. It’s not just about setting the table or cleaning dishes. When each member of the family is invited to cook a meal or even a dish, it’s a fun opportunity to teach self-care, good nutrition and responsibility for her body.
- Where do our daughters shape their views about body image? Sit down with your daughter to chat about articles in a beauty magazine, how a character is portrayed on TV, or even what happened at school with friends.
- Watch what you say about your own body and how you nurture your self. She is watching and learning, even when you think she’s not. YOU are her most important role model!
- Emotions and food are so often tied together. Instead of a bowl of chocolate ice cream after a bad day, sit down and encourage her to express her feelings, and be there to nurture her or suggest an activity that you and your daughter can do together.
- Positive talk. Whether it is the news or the latest gossip at school, we are inundated with negativity. Take time with your daughter to discover positive role models, positive affirmations, and positive ways she can nurture and take care of herself.
With recent surveys indicating that four out of five ten-year-old American girls have been on a diet, and children as young as six are dieting, it is critical we start these conversations early.
Diets for children and teens don’t work! In fact, many young girls who diet end up heavier in the long run. Or even worse, they find themselves with disordered eating or an eating disorder, not making the connection that their body needs food for nourishment. I recently created an Un-Diet handout, based on my Un-Diet philosophy, that might help you think about ways of nurturing your daughter’s body image and self-care instead of going down an unhealthy path. You can find that here: http://www.dishingwithyourdaughter.com/the-undiet-movement
Everything from sleeping habits, stress, exercise or activity level, growth-spurts, even emotions can affect your daughter’s weight. By opening this dialogue about health and body image, we are nurturing a healthy relationship with our daughters and shifting the perceptions of body image as she grows into adulthood.
Creating life-long learning about nurturing her body in ways that gives her health, confidence and a positive body image starts with a conversation!
