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Dad-Matters

Fathers are a crucial to the raising of children!

This is perhaps something that most people know, but if you asked why, their answers might surprise you. When the average person thinks of the role of a father, the immediate image that comes to mind is breadwinner and disciplinarian. Ask that same question to someone who has grown up with a father who was very involved in their lives and the answer changes dramatically.

As someone who has been fortunate enough to be married to someone who was and is involved in the lives of my children, I can share first hand that a father’s role is VERY IMPORTANT to raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. Please bear in mind that I did not say perfect children as these do not exist.

I would be the first to acknowledge too that there are so many children who have been raised very successfully by single mothers and single fathers and have gone on to lead amazing lives. And for those who have been able to do it in spite of the tremendous job of raising a child or children alone, I applaud you for a job well done.

The involvement of a father, whether changing diapers and feeding a new baby while mom takes a nice bubble bath or nap to reading a bed time story, is for every child, something to be treasured. I think the reason a lot of fathers don’t do these things is because they were not taught these things through an example when they were children. Society has somehow convinced males that women are responsible for raising children and their roles are to stand back and watch from the sidelines.

This month’s feature is for dads. If you are a mom reading this (the odds are good that you are), be sure to share this with the father of your children. I have a hunch that the average father wants to be involved but just don’t know how to begin. And far too often hearing from a frustrated, tired mom is perhaps not the best person to share the news.

So mom, dads, here’s hoping this will start both of you on a new path to wonderful moments of sharing with your children. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Moms, allow your child’s father to be their father! Don’t expect them to do things as you would do them but rather allow them to discover and find their own way. No child comes with written instructions and just as you are learning how to care for your child(ren), so is he.
  2. Begin the process by doing things as a couple. For example, if it is a new baby, change diapers together, switching up on the different steps. If one time you remove the diaper, step aside and allow him to clean the baby’s bottom and put on a new diaper.
  3. Read bedtime stories each night. Fathers are great at this as it has been my observation that men can be very animated in a way that is very different from women. Because they are trying to figure it out, I think the tendency is to try harder therefore the result is very entertaining. You will find that even the most serious father will soften when reading to a child.
  4. Fathers, set up date night with your child. Go to the movies, take a walk in the park or prepare a meal together. And moms, remember this is their time so steer clear. Moms can use this as an opportunity to catch up on your “me” time.
  5. Fathers, spend time listening and talking to your children. This time will cost you nothing but will pay you returns for years to come.
  6. And last but not least, tell your children you love them each day.