Family Time

The holidays is the one time of the year where families across the United States come together. I mention the US in particular as our international readers typically do not celebrate this American holiday. Gathering together at the holidays provides a perfect opportunity for “catch up” on all that has happened over the course of the year.

As wonderful as getting together can be, there are also many situations where coming together is not a joyous occasion. This is especially the case with the increased numbers of blended-families, current economic stresses and typical family issues that exist in most families.

The bad news is what is done cannot be changed. The good news is you have a wonderful opportunity to write a new history for you and your family. Young children are great for helping to start with a fresh page; they have no history of bad feelings and they are open to connecting in a spirit of sharing. So, use them as common ground.

Keep in mind too that the holidays happen only once a year and in most cases the time spent together is less than five hours; which means it passes quickly.

Here are some tips you might want to consider if your family is in need of a fresh start.

  1. Let bygones be bygones. No amount of anger, fussing or dredging up the past is going to change it. What matters now is NOW.
  2. Establish ground rules for interacting and make a game out of it. Establish a tolerance jar and fine anyone who says or does anything to kill the peace. The fine can be a dollar and up, depending upon your family’s situation. Decide up front what will happen to the money at the end of the gathering. Consider donating it to a charity or to family members who might be in need.
  3. Plan activities that will lessen confrontation. Old school dancing is always a hit.
  4. Set aside an , “I am grateful because...” time for all to participate.
  5. Light a candle to honor family members who are deceased and have the oldest and the youngest participate from each branch of the family.
  6. Create an online family scrap book and share it will each family member. To share pictures, set up a family website and post pictures to allow open access.
  7. Limit or exclude alcoholic beverages. In most cases where situations escalate, a main culprit is alcohol
  8. Have a sing-along or talent show.
  9. Remember, life is short, but families are forever!