Learning

Starting At The Beginning
Karen Schacter, contributing editor (dishingwithyourdaughters.com and healthybodieshappyminds.com)

Another year, another set of resolutions. For many parents, that can mean resolving to cook more, add healthier food into your family’s diet, get your child eating less white food, or cutting back on the junk food you buy. These are all wonderful changes and it’s so inspiring at the end of a year to vow that things will be different “next year.”

If you’re like many parents, you begin the year off in full swing, committed to your goal: You head to the store, you pass up the sugary cereals and boxed mac and cheese, and you go straight for the whole grains, quality proteins and veggies. So far, so good. You get home, pull out your olive oil and herbs and get to work, creating a delicious meal for the family. You’re excited!

And then, wham! In seconds, your hopes are crushed.

“What’s THIS?” cries child #1.

“Where’s my hot dog?” wails child #2.

So, with head hung low, spirit crushed, you head back to the fridge, boil up a hot dog (or throw some chicken nuggets in the oven), and alone or with your partner, eat the meal that you so lovingly prepared. (But somehow, you’ve lost your appetite).

You wonder...is it really worth it? It’s hard, it takes time, and my kids don’t even eat this stuff anyway. What’s the use?

And this, my fellow parents, is one way that New Year’s Resolutions come to a screeching halt.

We’re here to help.

Because here’s the thing: Change is HARD. You WILL hit bumps in the road. You WILL experience resistance (from yourself or those around you).

That’s simply what happens. We humans are creatures of habit and we are wired to keep things in balance. When something threatens to throw our system off balance, there’s a reaction. Our brains, our emotions, and even our relationships will unconsciously try to keep things the same.

So even when we really truly want to change something, there will be “push-back” from another part of the system and your whole being will be drawn to doing it according to old patterns.

There is hope, though! Therapists have long known that behavior and emotions and relationships can be changed, forming new patterns over time, with consistent practice, focus and efforts. And recently, neuroscientists have shown that brains, too, can change and form new patterns.

Once these new habits are formed (which takes about 21-30 days), your system (or your family) finds a new equilibrium and a new balance is reached.

Here are a few ideas to help you keep focused on your healthy goals for 2011, despite the bumps along the way:

  1. Remember that change is hard and it takes COMMITMENT. Making a sincere commitment requires that you do the thing you committed to, even though it’s hard. You keep trying, even when you “fail.”
  2. Each “failure” is an opportunity to learn and grow. In the example above, did the kids need to be consulted first? Do they need to get active in the kitchen too?
  3. Begin where you are. This means that you can’t expect to go from A to Z in a week. Change takes time. Implement small changes, one at a time, and by the end of 2011, you will be in a completely different place than you are now. If you institute big changes too quickly, you’ll have rebellion on your hands!
  4. Get support for the changes you’re trying to make. Find an ally or an accountability partner. Get your kids on board if you can, and if they’re resistant, let them know why it’s important to you.
  5. Speaking of “new beginnings,” start the beginning of each day with a healthy breakfast for you and your children. It’s the easiest meal of the day to change AND it provides the most bang for your buck. You and your children will both function better with a balanced breakfast (my family’s favorites include eggs and fruit, quick mushroom and onion omlettes, yogurt with fruit, or a big creamy bowl of oatmeal!).