Learning
A Father’s Journey: Celebrating the Impact that Fathers have on Children’s Self Esteem
by Karen Schachter, contributing editor
http://www.dishingwithyourdaughter.com
Father’s Day is just around the corner, and before you shop for that golf club, stylish tie or action-packed movie, it’s about time we acknowledged the impact that fathers have on their children’s self esteem.
Did you know that teenagers are more likely to stay in school and make healthier relationship choices if their fathers are involved in their lives?
Studies show that a girls self-esteem peaks at age 9, and by age 12, fathers have given their daughters 90% of their self-esteem. In addition, fathers who pay attention to their daughter’s accomplishments produce more confident adults, but girls whose fathers dwell on appearances have a lower self-esteem.
Why is this? Children see their fathers as natural leaders and as the protector of the family. Both girls and boys look to their parent’s relationship in all kinds of ways. Fathers may also model characterizations that young girls look for in a boyfriend, so it’s no wonder why being an active and involved dad is so important!
And with all of the pressure children experience to be popular, do the right things, be smart or liked by boys, young girls need all the help they can get to build their own self-worth.
Especially during those turbulent teenage years that snag mothers and daughters into emotional turmoil, fathers tend to be a calming presence with the ability to negotiate and problem solve.
A father’s involvement with a son is directly linked to a young boy’s identity as they grow into manhood. They learn how to be effective leaders, how to problem-solve in healthy ways, and skills and how to create healthy relationships. In particular, young boys learn how to look at, think about and treat women from their father’s example. In fact, boys who do not have involvement from their fathers are more likely to abuse drugs, alcohol and have emotional problems.
Both boys and girls seek approval from their fathers. Fostering a relationship that celebrates learning through trying, even if our children fail, emphasizing accomplishments instead of looks or appearances and creating open dialogue give children the examples they need to grow into healthy, confident adults!
Looking for an extra special way to foster time between father and child during this Father’s Day? Put down the polo shirt at the store and try out these fun activities:
- There’s nothing like some one-on-one time with the kids. One fun activity is to have a Father-Daughter or Father -Son outing, one hour for the number of years old they are. Five years old, five hours to go bowling, fly a kite, or cook a meal together.
- Open the doors and windows and play outside. Taking a hike, bicycling, playing ball, fishing, or soccer are all great activities that are active, for everyone!
- Volunteering with dad. There’s nothing like giving back! Volunteering time, energy or unused items is great way for father and child to learn from each other and feel great about helping the community. Just look in your community, there are tons of places to volunteer!
- Family history day. Our children learn about who we are by sharing stories with them. Visit your local library to see what you can discover and share your family’s past.
- Some families may not have a father present. These holidays can be especially hard for children who lost or are missing their father. Encourage them to spend time with another male figure in their lives or do something extra special in commemoration of their own father.
Sharing an activity shows dad appreciation, builds healthy self-esteem and also creates a healthy father-daughter or father-son relationship that will last over the years.
No matter what you decide to do for Father’s Day this year, make it a festive celebration to remember!
