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Learning

Escape The Beach Season Blues

by Karen Schachter, contributing editor
http://www.dishingwithyourdaughter.com

Whether it’s a trip to the beach or a day at the pool, many of us take more baggage with us than simply towels and sunscreen. For many girls and women ,and increasing numbers of boys and men, a day in a bathing suit means a pile of self-criticism, judgment and self-consciousness as well.

And unfortunately, these negative thoughts about our bodies can take the fun out of an otherwise beautiful day, relaxing vacation, or even bonding time with family. It’s hard to enjoy the sounds of the waves crashing into the sand when your inner voice is shouting, “Ugh! This bathing suit makes me look so fat! Look at this muffin top!” It’s stressful — instead of joyful — when you want to be building sandcastles or eating ice cream with your children, but instead, you’re focused on the roll on your belly or the dimples on your thighs.

While it’s perfectly healthy to want to look and feel your best, and none of us are truly immune to the constant barrage of you’re not good enough messages from the media, you deserve to experience play, fun and relaxation in your body this summer, no matter what your size or shape. When we make I hate my body the theme song of our lives, we limit our experience of fully living and connecting with those we love.

Here are a few ways to escape the beach season blues this month, and instead learn to truly enjoy the body you have and all that she offers you.

• Remember that your body is so much more than something to look at! Your body is your vessel for moving you through this life. What does she enjoy? Dancing, biking, swimming, or laying in a hammock? Give her some of that goodness! Take note of how she serves you: Those big arms for hugging those you love; that nose for smelling fresh coffee or beautiful roses; those eyes for observing art or a gorgeous sunset. Recognize that your body is so much BIGGER than what she looks like, and take some time to revel in all she does for you.
• Talk to yourself — and listen. When you hear your negative mean girl voice listing all your flaws, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if you would ever speak to a friend this way. “No,” you say? I didn’t think so! We love our friends for who they are, “flaws” and all. It takes some practice, but you can commit to treating yourself as you would a close friend. What would you say to a friend who was concerned about her appearance? How would you support a friend who was feeling self-conscious? Begin showing yourself the same respect.
• Try the magic wand exercise. If you could wave a magic wand and finally have the “perfect” body, what would that mean? Make a list of how you would think, feel, and act. Would you hold yourself more confidently? Engage more openly with others? Wear beautiful clothes? Play in the pool or on the beach, more naturally? Engage in more movement? Once you have your list, I encourage you to pick one or two things to start, and begin doing them NOW.
• If you are a parent, remember that your children are watching! While they may be getting negative messages from the media about what they “should” look like, their most powerful messages about how to treat their bodies come from you. If it’s hard for you to love your body just for yourself, can you practice self-kindness for your child? Can you show her what it’s like to live in a body that is loved and nourished? Instead of grabbing your belly fat or lamenting your shape in the mirror, practice smiling at your beautiful self and accepting yourself in the same loving way you accept your child.

Remember, your life is not 10 or 20 or 30 pounds from now...it is right at this moment, waiting for you to dive in.

© 2013 Good Living Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Photo credits: Beverli Alford and Seth Blaustein. Site by Ariela Steif.