Good Media
Love in the Movies
Andrea Rock, contributing editor
In the “good ole days,” schoolboy met schoolgirl, was attracted to her, and did what? Sent her a note? Gave her a picture of himself? Brought her a gift? Or maybe she did one or all of those things for him.
Today, in the world of instant messaging in a no-limits culture, kids are increasingly engaging in the disturbing practice of “sexting,” sending nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves over their cell phones. Although the sender may naively intend the pictures only for the eyes of the recipient, she may be shocked to learn that the recipient has uploaded the pics to Facebook or MySpace! These kids may be humiliated, at best, but at worst, there may be legal implications for them. There is a possibility that teens who disseminate indecent photos—even when photos of themselves—may face prosecution for obscenity or child pornography, if the pictures are of someone younger than 18.
It happened this year, to a Wisconsin teen who posted naked pictures of his 16-year-old ex-girlfriend online, and to four middle-schoolers in Alabama, who exchanged nude photos of themselves. A Rochester, N.Y., 16-year-old currently faces up to seven years in prison for forwarding a nude photo of his 15-year-old girlfriend to his friends. A Texas eighth-grader spent the night in a juvenile detention center after his football coach discovered a nude picture on his cell phone, sent to him by a fellow student.
And in a tragic turn of events, an 18-year-old Ohio girl hanged herself in the aftermath of nonstop harassment by classmates who received nude photos of her from her ex-boyfriend. At her school, forty-four percent of the boys revealed that they had seen nude photos of classmates, and fifteen percent admitted they had sent out nude photos of their ex-girlfriends.
Last year, a survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found that 39 percent of teens are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages, and 48 percent reported receiving such messages. It is truly a growing problem.
Advice for Parents
The following tips are quoted directly from the Common Sense Media website, http://www.commonsensemedia.org/advice-for-parents/talking-about-sexting:
- Don’t wait for an incident to happen to your child or your child’s friend before you talk about the consequences of sexting. Sure, talking about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but it’s better to have the talk before something happens.
- Remind your kids that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved—and they will lose control of it. Ask teens how they would feel if their teachers, parents, or the entire school saw the picture, because that happens all the time.
- Talk about pressures to send revealing photos. Let teens know that you understand how they can be pushed or dared into sending something. Tell them that no matter how big the social pressure is, the potential social humiliation can be hundreds of times worse.
- Teach your children that the buck stops with them. If someone sends them a photo, they should delete it immediately. It’s better to be part of the solution than the problem. Besides, if they do send it on, they're distributing pornography -- and that’s against the law.
- Check out ThatsNotCool.com. It’s a fabulous site that gives kids the language and support to take texting and cell phone power back into their own hands. It’s also a great resource for parents who are uncomfortable dealing directly with this issue.
If you Google “sexting,” you’ll find far more “how-to” information than advice for parents or warnings for kids. We parents need to band together, engaging each other, our schools, and our parent-teacher organizations, to try to teach our children the serious nature of this growing pastime.
