4 Recipes for Good Living — From the Editor

Letter from the editor

Rebirth

Actions can be scrutinized, words edited, but the beginning of understanding comes through good conversation!

This month of the celebration of women has been an exciting period for women in every walk of life. So far we have witnessed the annual celebration of International Women’s Day, A Billion Rising and there have been a number of interesting articles written by women on varying topics; from opinions on raising children to a call to action raise ire in the corporate board room.

What has been perhaps the most compelling topic to date, and the month is just half over, is the release of the new book by Sheryl Sandberg entitled, Lean In. It has been interesting to witness the dialogue or should I say firestorm, that this book has created and the opinions that are from one emotional extreme to the other. The conversations have ranged from utter outrage over what many perceive to be her holier than thou privileged position in life, to some women saying, finally, that she had the courage to say out loud, what many have thought all along!

For the sake of this article whether or not what Ms. Sandberg has to say is indeed the gospel is really not the point. What is the point however, is the fact that a conversation has been started that is long overdue.

Five years ago, I began the journey of trying to convince women that the reason we lack is not because we do not have, but rather because we do not talk; at least not about things that are important. To launch this discussion in May 2008 the Women Are Talking Initiative was created.

Unlike Ms. Sandberg, I did not come about my opinion in a place of prominence and exceptional power, however, some of the conclusions I have reached in my walk as a mother, sister, daughter, wife, and an average woman in business, touch upon many of the things about which I too believe are long overdue for open and honest discussion. And, it okay to say things out loud that are in many instances, misguided opinions. What happens when we talk or say out loud those things that are very often near and dear to our view of the world, is a dialogue ensues and misguided opinions are more likely to become informed decisions. And because we then begin to operate with the right information, rather than a figment of someone’s imagination, progress begins to take place.

What we think about our lives is important to our overall well-being. We cannot have a good life without adjusting our approach to how we live each day nor our actions concerning it. Whether we are blessed with a position in the playroom or the corporate boardroom, our collective thoughts and sharing of those thoughts are the key to having a life-changing experience, not only for ourselves, but for women everywhere. From this moment moving forward, we must begin to talk. To that end, here is what I have learned to be good in having a healthy discussion.

Rules of Verbal Engagement

  1. Enter with an attitude of sharing. No one person gets to control the dialogue.
  2. Each person’s opinion, whether in your estimation, it is right or wrong, does matter.
  3. Never make it personal; either taking it personally or issuing a personal attack against the other person takes your focus off of the point of the discussion. Keep it focused!
  4. Listen and learn. When we you listen you begin to gain a broader picture of life that helps to give you a clearer view of the world and consequently your actions begin to effect positive change.
  5. Gossip or malicious dialogue should never be a part of the discussion. As a gauge ask yourself these questions: Is it fact, Is it destructive and Is it necessary to the end game? If the answer is no re-focus the discussion.
  6. Begin the conversation with a stated purpose in order to keep the dialogue on point. In other words what do you hope to achieve by the end of the discussion?
  7. If the conversation warrants contentiousness, FIGHT FAIR. No hitting below the belt, in other words do not make it personal.
  8. If you must criticize, use the sandwich approach. Begin and end your point with something positive.

    9. For additional information about how you can lend your voice to the Women Are Talking discussion, please visit www.womenaretalking.org and www.facebook.com/womenaretalking. We are also talking on twitter @watalking. And remember, May 3, 2013, 1 MILLION WOMEN VOICES WILL TALK!.

    How good is that...

    Deigratia,

    Bonnie