thrive
The Strategy of Retreat
Renita C. Gabriel, Psy.D., contributing editor
http://www.breakthroughspsycservices.com
It seems as though August is a popular month for vacationing or getting away. Perhaps it’s because fall is right around the corner and people want to make sure they retreat prior to heading back into the hustle and bustle that returns once summer ends. Whatever the reason for the timing of the getaway, one thing appears clear, and that is that most of us know that withdrawing occasionally from the hectic routine of life is necessary to maintaining our overall well-being. Although up to this point I’ve been referring to physically retreating for the purposes of relaxing or regrouping, it is possible and just as important to mentally and emotionally retreat from time to time. You may be wondering what does this look like, and how and when does one do this?
Let us first consider the definition of retreat within a military context. One source defines a retreat as “the forced or strategic withdrawal of a military force before an enemy” (http://www.definitions.net/definition/retreat). Whereas another source defines a retreat as “a withdrawal of troops to a more favorable position to escape the enemy's superior forces or after a defeat” (http://www.elook.org/dictionary/retreat.html). It was not until reading these definitions that I was able to appreciate how much of a “strategy” retreating in a military context can be, one that could potentially place an army in a more “favorable position.” Let’s apply this analogy to our mental and emotional well-being. Consider the acronym “H.A.L.T.” (http://www.bradfordhealth.com/articles/h-a-l-t-the-dangers-of-hunger-anger-loneliness-tiredness-in-recovery/). Basically it stands for the emotional states of hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness in which we as human beings find ourselves. What if in addition to stopping or “halting” ourselves from acting while we are experiencing these states, we essentially retreated as a strategy to overcoming them? For instance, what if you took a moment to calm yourself before responding to an e-mail you perceived as threatening? What if you took a night to “sleep on it” before you made that large purchase? What if you took the time to meditate any time you began to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? How would your life change? How would your circumstances be different? I can almost guarantee that some aspect of your life would change for the better if you took the time mentally retreat in these instances.
As I learn and grow both as a professional and an individual, I realize that success in life is not determined by how few challenges or difficulties one has, but more so by how one responds to the challenges or difficulties one faces. Often we want to fight through our hardships, but sometimes retreating is a better strategy to overcoming the difficulty. Sometimes we have to “walk away so we can return to fight another day.” Consider the following T.I.P.:
T.I.P.:
Take time away (mentally or emotionally) from the distressing situation
Identify your thoughts and feelings about the situation and consider alternative explanations for the event.
Plan an approach for coping with the distressing incident.
Disclaimer-Please note that the monthly “TIP” does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with the readership nor substitute for a professional consultation with a licensed mental health professional.