thrive
The Power of Choice
Renita C. Gabriel, Psy.D., contributing editor
http://www.breakthroughspsycservices.com
After months of anticipation the day had finally arrived for my husband and I to learn the sex of our baby. Like many expectant parents, we were eagerly awaiting the results of this particular ultrasound so that we could move full speed ahead with our planning. Well, to our initial disappointment, our baby was quite
“shy” and was not ready to make “the big reveal.” However, according the ultrasound, other parts of our little one’s anatomy were visibly “normal” and developing well. My husband and I chose to focus on this fact rather than on the fact that we didn’t (and still don’t) know the gender of our baby. How many of you can relate to this example? Experiencing disappointment or encountering a situation that threatens to send you into a downward spiral of negative thoughts and feelings? Well, I am here once again to encourage you to change your perspective on the situation which will in turn change your response to it. The act of changing one’s perspective however, must be a deliberate choice.
How are human beings able to exercise choice? Well, it really depends on what you believe about human behavior. The two underlying philosophies are free will and determinism. The free will argument posits that human beings are free to make genuinely undetermined choices without constraint. Determinism “states that all events in the world are the result of some previous event, or events. In this view, all of reality is already in a sense pre-determined or pre-existent and, therefore, nothing new can come into existence.”(http://www.thegreatdebate.org.uk/determinismandfreewill.html) One could debate that there is some truth to both arguments; however, most of us would feel more comfortable believing that man has the capacity to make choices about certain aspects of his life. Consider the inspirational story of Victor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D., a Holocaust survivor and world renown psychiatrist and neurologist. Despite the fact that Dr. Frankl was oppressed to the extent of physical bondage and endured suffering that most of us will never know, he still had the freedom to choose what to contemplate during that difficult time. Arguably, it was this choice that sustained him.
What are the aspects of your life that you have control over? Is it your thought life? Is it your social life? Is it your professional life? All too often people fall prey to a victim mentality where they are consumed by thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and helplessness to the extent where they are unable to see beyond their past or present set of circumstances. It is only when individuals recognize that they do have some control over certain aspects of their lives that they can feel and be empowered.
T.I.P.:
Take time to assess the situation
Is there any aspect in my control?
Persistently choose to focus on that aspect
Disclaimer-Please note that the monthly “TIP” does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with the readership nor substitute for a professional consultation with a licensed mental health professional.