good manners

Tonight’s Menu...Communication

Christine Chen, contributing editor
www.gpprotocol.com

School and work routines are humming along at a more natural rhythm after summer’s break of unstructured schedules. Even though the days are shorter, our calendar is filling with a long list of to do’s. At times is seems we only see our family in the car as we zoom from one function to the next. The routines of each day seem to take over while some of the more important stuff slips to the bottom of the list.

One important routine that should be given top priority is family dinner time. Imagine coming together each evening to reconnect, engage in conversation, catch up on the latest, or to even just laugh together. Okay, many are probably wondering how to squeeze in even one family meal. After all, there’s soccer, piano, business meetings, homework, social obligations. And, of course, we need time to watch the new season of Dancing with Stars and Modern Family. Who has time to sit down together and eat? Actually, who has time to make dinner for that matter?

It really doesn’t have to be that complicated. With the beginning of Autumn comes the joy of eating those easy comfort foods like soups and stews and hearty breads. Don’t have time for that? No problem. Order take-out. Bring it home. Set the table. Light some candles. Make family dinner time special no matter what is on the menu.

The important factor really isn’t the food, it’s the interaction with family. A time to sit down and talk about the day. According to a recent Gallup poll, 47 percent of Americans eat dinner together on a regular basis. That’s actually probably better than most might have anticipated. However, even though just under half of all families are sitting down together, there are distractions. Forty percent say the television is on during meals. Others claim family members are using cell phones, texting, and even on the computer while eating.

Here’s an idea...turn everything off. Studies indicate that families who have dinner together, without distractions, not only enjoy meaningful relationships but promote greater communication and language skills. It’s actually quite ironic that face-to-face communication is at an all time low considering we communicate via social media almost 24/7 — tweeting, texting, facebooking, e-mailing, blogging. Unfortunately, electronic communication does not replace the face-to-face interactions that are critical to building relationships and communication skills.

Communication consists of so much more than the actual words. There’s body language, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, vocal tone. All of these non-verbal communication skills are lost through social media. According to Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D. at UCLA, only seven percent of a message is conveyed verbally. The other 93% is conveyed through tone of voice (38 percent) and body language (55 percent). That’s powerful stuff! It’s no wonder there’s so much miscommunication and misunderstanding in the electronic world. Maybe it’s time to encourage some real one-on-one time.

Here are a few tips on how to get the verbal ball rolling:

Ask questions. Ask, what was the high point of the day. The low point of the day.
Share accomplishments.
Share disappointments. One fun activity is to purchase conversation cards. There are many on the market: Chat Pack, Table Talk, Chit Chat Cards, Table Topics. These fun cards are full of random questions that encourage everyone to think and share. It’s amazing how a lively discussion will generate from a simple question like, “If you could relive one day of your life, which one would it be?”

Family dinners on these wonderfully brisk evenings of Fall will take on a whole new meaning when communication, real communication, is encourage. Slow down. Listen. Learn. Understand. Laugh. Communicate.